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ItalianoThe Taboo on the discussion of removing the Taboo.
a cultural or religious custom that does not allow people to do, use, or talk about a particular thing as people find it offensive or embarrassing Lust: intense sexual desire or appetite. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving What is it that we as practitioners of BDSM and other such kinks lust for if not the uncontrolled and illicit, the forbidden, the unknown or even the embarassing? In general humans desire what they cannot have and if we were suddenly overwhelmed by what we desire we would possibly seek out other new desires, abandoning the old - though this certainly isn't always the case. And so the wheel turns from pain to pleasure and pain again. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201411/the-problem-desire) A few begin early on with innate desires and/or experiments that stretch into this macabre world. Most though latch on the musings of others or on the imagery so easily available today and find in them some inexplicable drive. Others yet discover it later as a consequence of their personal growth or position in society, seeking an alternative to the mundane. Even in the more austere expressions of BDSM, those that characterized by sensuality and grace, there seems to be the desire to feel that this is something special. That the experience one is going through is unique. It could be argued that a more accepting atmosphere, the spread of BDSM in pop culture, the desire to take it front stage into the public eye on manifestations is a good thing. •It increases risk awareness which helps to mitigate risks. •Enables more people that otherwise would be frightened or unsure to try out what they deeply desire. •Creates understanding in the broader society and thus helps bridge a gulf in society. But what happens if the chains you’re trying to smash are the very things you love? What if the desires you seek, the things you lust for are by their very definition your desires and lusts because they are not mundane, because they are not accepted, because there is still a mystique in them? A comparison that we’ve all probably lived through is when our favourite director, musician or even writer goes commercial. Many of us who may have felt a special connection with them, with their work, with the community that existed around it end up feeling that connection is gone. It’s not even a matter of whether or not the work has degraded, though in the views of many it often does because the focus no longer becomes on the niche. The biggest pet peeve most end up having is the loss of that feeling of exclusivity. That you were privy to something special and that they were speaking to you and a few others like you in a way nobody else did. And who doesn’t agree that this is partly what has happened with the release of say 50 Shades of Gray where the relationship is clearly morphed to fit Hollywood tropes. Imagine lust within BDSM like a tease under the table at a restaurant. Currently still it is covered with a piece of cloth. Each move you make or that your partner makes under it is ostensibly only visible and felt by you two. There are hints you leave for others. The uncontrolled squirming in the chair, the hands that seem to go below the waist far too often for what can be expected. Perhaps you go a step further, perhaps you unzip your partners laces, leaving more clues as suddenly shoes are seen below the table, just like you can show hints with tattoos , collars around your neck or bracelets around your ankles those that are willing and know where to look. So what is the alternative then? What if there was no tablecloth? That in some way may seem to be the most extreme version, but really it's nothing more than a sample of exhibitionism. What is worse is if nobody cares. If there is no risk of discovery as in the last case and nobody cares about what they are seeing the exhibitionism is pointless. It’s not there, it’s as mundane as a kiss. If we manage to change the sensibilities of people to the point where it is the “normal” then it also becomes equally...boring. Even the pleasure others might have derived from it from their voyeurism is thus somewhat limited, the same way seeing someone kiss on the streets doesn't elicit much of a reaction in anyone any more. But even more so, for those that would still have the cloth over the table the sensation that the excitement of possibly being found brings out would diminish. The tease would have lost much of its purpose and become just an exercise in physical affection, however nice. Thus the question: What if by breaking the taboo you destroy part of the allure? What if this then becomes the mundane, will the mundane then become the exceptional? I often think of this as I observe the world in regards to societal changes. In this case, what if in a world in 100 years of interactive sex machines, holographic partners, virtual reality pleasure chips and what ever else we’re already practising becomes the normal. Will the mundane kiss, the holding of someone's hand, walking into a sunset become the unusual, the different, the desirable? The Taboo? Possibly, if we look at the development of sexuality in Japan and Korea, the two most high-tech societies in the world. But that’s an other article for an other time. __________ Addendum: Of course, this does not concern the Sadomasochist as much. But if there is a mental aspect to the sadism and masochism it suddenly starts to matter a lot more. If humiliation as such isn't actually perceived as humiliating through the societal norms that make it so today, then what is it and where is the release? |
A short intellectual excersise on what drives desire and lust and how it is connected to the subject of Taboos
Tillagd 20 apr 2020 Debattartiklar om sexualitet och identitet #BDSM #Erotik
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