Del 16: Fractured
|Try as I might, I can't take it anymore. I see Wolf in my mind, the yellow eyes follow me, I wonder if it's real, if he picked up my scent, found me, nestled into my mind. Or if I just imagine it, because I froze in wishing-and-waiting mode. Probably the latter. He is done. Gone. And I'm stuck in pain. Oozing blood. Unable to forget. In need of a radical solution.|
"Where would I find Core?"
Trinity looks at me, baffled.
"What do you want from Core?"
I look at her. Her amber eyes are worried.
"Can you just tell me what you need?" Her voice is soft, probing.
"I need to forget. Get rid of it all. I can't stand it anymore. It just hurts too much."
"My scar. My heart. I just want to get rid of it. Useless fucking heart."
"It gets better, Honey."
"It is not getting better." My breathing is shallow, I feel my pulse revving up. Panic. I see him again. Feel his smell. His voice. His silence. I sit down hard, the tension inside me makes me shake uncontrollably. I cover my ears to stop myself from hearing his voice. I don't know what to cover to stop myself wanting to hear it.
"Honey." I look up, Trinity tries to take my hand, her amber eyes are alight. Worried. I push away her hand.
"Don't touch me, you ugly..." I freeze in mid-sentence. Clamp my hand over my mouth.
Trinity goes pale. Stops breathing. Just looks at me, mouth half open. Her lips tremble, and I see her fighting for breath. Her eyes are dead, there is no light in them. Her gaze is unfocused. I killed the fire in her. I broke her heart. Just like Wolf broke mine.
I take her in my arms. Her body is rigid, she is like a doll. The doll that I broke. Like looking in a weird mirror. I know the pain she feels. Live in it. If there is a remedy, I've never found it. Just kept bleeding, hoping it would stop with time. It never did. Still, I have to tell her something. Try to mend what I broke.
"It gets better, Trinity. You always say that."
Her breath slows down even more. So shallow, I no longer see her chest moving.
"I lied." Her voice is just like mine. The amber eyes keep staring into nothing. Devoid of light.
"I don't care." I have to fight for every word, a mountain on my chest. "We will stop lying. Admit it, that it hurts. Because we still care. It will never go away."
Trinity looks at me, her eyes are so tired.
"I know. I always knew. I just hoped it would help you to cope."
I want to kiss her. She shies away from me.
"Remember, we would stop? No lies."
"I still think you are beautiful." She looks away. Sighs.
"It doesn't matter, Honey. It never did. I never believed you."
I place my palm on her abdomen. Feel her shiver. Look away, ashamed, pale. I take hold of her face, look into her tiger eyes. Waiting for the light. Waiting for her to blink. To be mine again. To ignite. As long as it takes.
Fortsättning:Del 1 (6 jun)
Del 2: Werewolf (25 mar)
Del 3: Cuntess (18 apr)
Del 4: Disposed (12 maj)
Del 5: Honeydripper (16 apr)
Del 6: Amped (19 apr)
Del 7: Lift-off (23 apr)
Del 8: Seen (24 apr)
Del 9: Unseen (25 apr)
Del 10: Quickening (10 maj)
Del 11: Pause (29 apr)
Del 12: Rogued (28 apr)
Del 13: Paternal (29 apr)
Del 14: Trinity (2 maj)
Del 15: Flashback (24 jul)
Del 16: Fractured (11 maj)
Del 17: Celebrations (14 maj)
Del 18: Come-back (24 jul)
Del 19: Stripped (16 maj)
Del 20: Over it (24 jul)
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